Some days are like that.....

Even in Australia, and in Keller. It was a bad day. Really bad. I was up late last night with church business; there was a thunder storm that woke the kids right as I was drifting off. Then this morning--traffic, canceled class, and a series of mishaps. These kinds of days are the ones when you want to crawl back in bed, pull the covers over your head and wait until the next day or at least until the monsoon slows down and you don't have to get your boots soaked every time you get out of the car. I thought I was handling things ok. I felt a bit testy but overall just trying to keep moving. When we finally got home though reality started slapping me around.

My house is pretty much a disaster. The master bath is under construction. The kitchen floor hasn't been mopped in several weeks and my car has earned the incredibly honest criticism from the 1st grade car pool "this is disgusting!" One of the girls from the carpool said she was afraid to put her back pack down. Oi.

We managed to make it through dinner. Thank heavens for Jared and his inspired creamy curry broccoli soup. Still my patience began flapping in the wind, in tatters. My voice rose. My emotions threatened to force me into a fetal position. Admittedly, I struggle with hormone fluctuations throughout the month. This time, the end of my cycle, is the hardest. Add to that the stress of a new job and a husband gone for the evening and you can see why at 6:30 I ordered everyone to bed. Teeth brushed, jammies on and I was tucking in my little people as fast as possible so as to avoid any further opportunities for emotional scarring (mine or theirs).

Wesley and I have a thing we do. I rub his back and he tells me about his day. He requests a song (and usually compliments my voice which honestly may be why I like to tuck him in so much). Lately the favorite is The First Noel. I told him tonight I didn't have it in me. I was just too tired. He asked for A Child's Prayer. When I got to the second verse:

Pray, He is there.
Speak, He is listening.
You are His child.
His Love now surrounds you.

I crumbled into a thousand humble pieces. I immediately felt the sweet arms of the Savior reaching out and surrounding me. I felt that He knows my challenges (my special needs, so to speak). He knows that I can do the things He has asked me to do. I don't right now. I don't know if I can but I have faith in His confidence in me. I have faith that in the darkness of this winter season I have access to the light and I am so blessed to have that knowledge and that hope.