Questions of Home

The other night Dave said he felt like he was still sleeping in someone else's house. We are all slightly off kilter here as we try to navigate the daily requirements of life in new surroundings. So I've been reflecting quite a bit on what a home is and how we create a place of refuge from the world for our families.

Last year I read a book called The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton. I love this writer. He is a philosopher and so wise. He quotes Baudelaire:

"It always seems to me that I'll be well where I am not and this question of moving is one that I'm forever entertaining with my soul."

This feeling of being well where we are not comes in part from knowing we belong somewhere else. I think most individuals have a longing to return to home to that God who created them (those who don't had something go awry). I think its so incredibly difficult to access that place within your spirit that can be utterly at peace.



Enter the temple. There are wonderful connections available there. It often feels like home to me. Not always but often. The qualities that make it so peaceful are:
1. Quiet space for contemplation
2. A loving and calming staff who expresses gratitude for your being there
3. A place for everything and everything in its place
4. Simplicity in design and places filled with light
5. A consistent effort to serve others
6. Beautiful surroundings and harmony with the nature outside
7. Focus on family and binding families together

So if I take these qualities and consider how I might implement them into my home a blueprint of sorts comes together.

First, space for contemplation. I have to admit that this number one on my list above is number one on most of my lists. I love to have space to think and to write and to ponder. I used to give little thought to this because I had small children. How do you find quiet space to ponder with little kids? I realize now how desperately all of us have needed that space. Children need that space as well. To be alone with their own thoughts and to access the Spirit. In this new house, we are finding it difficult to be alone. Finding it difficult to have quiet without the t.v. or other electronics. This habit of contemplation is my number one focus this summer. However, in order to create that space I have to tackle some of the other things on the list.

I think in order to be comfortable with yourself you have to have others be comfortable around you. Others mirror for you the way you present yourself to the world. In the temple, I always feel welcome; I always feel safe. This is one reason that I can sit in a chair and close my eyes and feel at peace. I want my children to feel how grateful I am that they are here. I have struggled with that because I do like to be alone. If I yell at them to get away from me or to go away, they cannot feel that safety or peace. This is definitely something I need to work on.

Order. Oh how order and I have a love/hate relationship. I look at pictures on Pinterest like this one:

Then I look at reality and it does not look like this.

I have always struggled with how to create order. At one point in my life I believed that it was like going against the grain. To try to create order in the midst of all this trending toward chaos was like swimming upstream. So much harder that just going with the flow. However, I have realized that my heart does not work right in the middle of chaos. It just stresses everyone out. We need a schedule and routine and a place for everything. Dave especially begins to get very testy when he does not have order. These things are my main focuses right now in the new house.

Just these first three. I can make my children feel safe and feel like I am grateful to have them here. I can put things in order and I can give them space for contemplation. More on the rest of the list.....when I get there.